What Is Codependency? 20 Signs & Symptoms

5 Books on Codependency

We have identified five of our favorite books about codependency based on their value for working with clients, their reviews, and our personal experience with them.

1. Codependency Recovery Workbook – Linda Hill

Author Linda Hill guides the general reader in understanding themselves as people pleasers and how the roles of giver and taker can contribute to unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Discover Hill’s seven-step plan that helps anyone in a codependent relationship recover and regain control of their lives.

Find the book on Amazon.

2. Codependent No More – Melody Beattie

Melody Beattie’s bestseller on codependency is the winner of the 2023 Nautilus Book Award. It’s compassionate and well written, with plenty of insights that explore how we can lose ourselves when helping another.

The exercises, personal reflections, and instructive stories support the reader in finding themselves, breaking old patterns, and putting in place healthy boundaries.

Find the book on Amazon.

3. The Codependency Workbook – Krystal Mazzola

This valuable book explores how to regain a sense of self and reclaim their lives for those in a codependent relationship. It uses CBT to challenge and replace negative thoughts with helpful thoughts, set goals, and manage conflicts.

The sections are modular and can be taken in any order according to the degree and type of need. They are also written in a straightforward style to support those who require urgent healing.

Find the book on Amazon.

4. Facing Codependence – Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, and J. Keith Miller

Now over 20 years old and having sold more than 600,000 copies, this popular book remains valuable and powerful for anyone wishing to understand codependent thinking, emotions, and behavior.

The authors aim to help readers heal themselves and avoid repeating unhelpful and emotionally dysfunctional behaviors with their children.

Find the book on Amazon.

5. Addiction in the Family: What Every Counselor Needs to Know – Virginia A. Kelly

This is a valuable guide and textbook for mental health professionals working with codependent clients with an addicted family member.

Kelly explores and explains the impact of addicts’ behavior on other family members using case examples followed by questions.

It includes important background information on the history and definition of substance abuse, along with emotional and multicultural considerations.

Find the book on Amazon.

PositivePsychology.com’s Helpful Resources

We have many resources available for therapists providing support to individuals and couples who are facing struggles with codependency.

Here are three further free resources that can help clients build stronger foundations for positive and healthy relationships:

• About Your Partner: In this playful and engaging exercise, the client asks their partner questions to deepen their understanding of one another.
• Relationship Audit: This helpful tool uses a set of questions to audit the degree of authenticity within a relationship.
• Moving Forward: This exercise helps clients understand what kept them from finding happiness with their previous partner.

More extensive versions of the following tools are available with a subscription to the Positive Psychology Toolkit©, but they are described briefly below:

• Setting Healthy Boundaries With Parents
  Codependency often occurs within families. Boundary setting is crucial for safeguarding autonomy and defining personal space.

Try out the following steps with your client:

Step one – Identify aspects of the relationship that require boundaries.
Step two – Define what is and isn’t acceptable for each element.
Step three – Communicate those boundaries to the parents calmly and clearly.
Step four – Be consistent. Always maintain boundaries.

• Creating a Hugging Habit
  Often, couples become disconnected due to their busy schedules and expanding family commitments, so it is essential to prioritize physical contact to support ongoing closeness and connection.

Couples are encouraged to put a daily hugging ritual in place to transition out of a busy workday and into their home life. It requires perseverance.

Couples commit to hugging before and after work and then reflect on the experience at the end of each week.

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others build healthy relationships, this collection contains 17 validated positive relationships tools for practitioners. Use them to help others form healthier, more nurturing, and life-enriching relationships.

A Take-Home Message

Codependency is a complex and sometimes hidden dynamic that can have a deep impact on relationships and wellbeing. It has the potential to affect self-efficacy and self-worth and create instability.

Whether present in the workplace, romantic, friendship, or family settings, recovery from codependency begins with recognition.

Either personally or with the support of a mental health professional, individuals then continue their journey toward reclaiming their lives by understanding the causes and the symptoms. This may include a lack of self-worth and overreliance on (and caring for) others at the expense of their own needs.

As counselors and therapists, we can support clients who present with codependency by helping them be heard and imagining the possibility of a relationship where boundaries are appropriate and respected.

By offering a safe place to share their experiences and concerns, clients can gain the confidence to break free of unhealthy patterns of thinking and behaving and rediscover a future filled with more balanced, fulfilling relationships that promote mental wellness and self-worth.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Relationships Exercises for free.

ED: Rewrite December 2024